SYNOPSIS: Absurd actions seem banal and ordinary, but with a specific text, they create an interesting, structured and pseudo-philosophical collage. The play has no plot although certain features link the six scenes together. All six scenes challenge the conventional perception of reality. At first glance, banal situations become absurd due to the meaningless text or its repetition. It is an experiment with dramatic form and meaning. In the first scene, the characters play with sounds, words, actions of their own body and with the meanings of words. The second scene is a discussion or argument on the topic: “What is absurd?” The third scene comprises endless and exaggerated encouragement, until the person grasps it. The fourth scene is about an unusual recipe for a cake. The fifth scene is about observing an unknown object. The sixth scene is an endlessly prolonged moment of encounter between two people.
NUMBER OF PAGES: 8
CAST: 4 women
GENRE: absurd comedy
CHARACTERS:
FIRST
SECOND
THIRD
FOURTH
SAMPLE TEXT
SCENE 1
FIRST: And all at once, I hear that very strange noise. Something like a rustling plastic bag. Someone is taking their shopping out of a plastic shopping bag. I don’t like that sound. I imagine myself sitting on the metro and a woman behind me is rummaging through her bag. What is she looking for? Will it ever stop? It sounds the same, but it isn’t a plastic bag after all. It‘s more like running water. A stream of water running from the tap and hitting the smelly old dishrag lying on the bottom of the sink. Poor thing, no one’s going to save it now. It’s stuck at the bottom of the sink, soaking in running water, hitting it hard. And it’s just like that creepy sound of a rustling plastic bag. Or isn’t it?
SECOND: Could be some shrubs. What an unusual word – shrub. Something that is scrubbing and rustling and rattling – a shrub. Have you ever forced your way or snuck through a shrub? It‘s not easy at all. Your cheeks and arms are scratched and scraped. Scraped with scratches, brushed mashed and smashed all over the place. You’re covered in scabs. Scabs from shrubs. But that’s another story anyway.
THIRD: I’m looking at my right leg. It quickly stretches forwards and immediately disappears backwards. I’m imagining it in slow motion. Forwards and immediately backwards and again forwards and backwards. And what’s this? The other leg’s moving exactly the same: stretches forwards and immediately disappears backwards and again and again and the right leg is in front of me and now it’s the left one and the right one and the left one and right, left, right, left… Hmm… tricky… Bizarre legs. You naughty boys; Halt! Stand at ease! Hah, hah…
FOURTH: A certain specification of a problem occurs when; not specification but specialisation, yes, specialisation of a problem, not a problem but a specialisation of the field; occurs when, not occurs, acquires, yes, acquires, so a certain specialisation of the field acquires contours, wow, my, what a word, contours, not contours but coturns; yes, a certain specification of a field occurs, no, acquires, it’s falling apart somehow; once again; a certain specification of a field acquires coturns… and I’m done. Once more and this time differently. A lady had five eggs. That’s good, five eggs; no, not eggs… shit, I give up…
(Lights off. Music.)
SCENE 2
FIRST: Yesterday, the sun set…
SECOND: Hey, really? My watch’s stopped.
THIRD: Doesn’t matter. It’s better with carrot.
FOURTH: You trying to sound interesting or what? A watch with carrot. Is it some kind of joke? Or are you trying to create some kind of absurd dialog?
FIRST: Please, let’s start from the beginning.
FOURTH: Make her take back that carrot.
SECOND: Maybe she meant oatmeal.
FOURTH: You take care of your watch, you carrot.
FIRST: Please, we aren’t getting anywhere. My bus leaves in a minute so don’t waste my time. Let’s finish it off. Once more, please.. – Yesterday, the sun rose .
FOURTH: You said it set, before.
FIRST: My goodness, does it matter?! It rose, it set. What’s your point? Tell me, what’s your point?
THIRD: Can we change that carrot to – beetroot?
SECOND: But my watch stopped completely. When does that bus leave?
(Lights off. Music.)
SCENE 3
FIRST: You have to.
SECOND: I can’t.
FIRST: Yes, you have to.
SECOND: But I can’t.
FIRST: Give it a try.
SECOND: Impossible.
FIRST: Just a little.
SECOND: It doesn’t work..
FIRST: You have to.
SECOND: I can’t.
FIRST: But you have to..
SECOND: But I can’t.
FIRST: Give it a try.
SECOND: It doesn‘t work.
FIRST: Just a little.
SECOND: Impossible. (Faster and faster.)
FIRST: You have to.
SECOND: I can’t.
FIRST: Yes, you have to.
SECOND: But I can’t.
FIRST: Give it a try…
SECOND: It doesn’t work.
FIRST: Just a little.
SECOND: Impossible.
FIRST: You have to.
SECOND: I can‘t.
FIRST: Yes, you have to.
SECOND: But I can’t.
FIRST: Give it a try…
SECOND: It doesn’t work.
FIRST: Just a little.
SECOND: Impossible.
FIRST: You have to.
SECOND: I can’t.
FIRST: But you have to.
SECOND: But I can’t.
FIRST: Give it a try.
SECOND: It doesn‘t work.
FIRST: Just a little.
SECOND: Impossible.
FIRST: You have to.
SECOND: I can’t.
FIRST: Yes you have to.
SECOND: But I can’t.
FIRST: Give it a try.
SECOND: It doesn’t work.
FIRST: Just a little.
SECOND: Impossible. (Pause.)
FIRST: You see, now it works.
SECOND: You’re right, damn it.
(Lights off. Music.)
SCENE 4
THIRD: Well, I usually use about 2 pounds of flour…
FOURTH: 2 pounds.
THIRD: Exactly, 2 pounds. Wholemeal.
FOURTH: Hmm. Wholemeal.
THIRD: Next, you chuck in a teaspoon of yeast.
FOURTH: Yeast.
THIRD: Well, yeast. And you can’t forget to add an egg. But remember, not whipped. The egg, you know, it all kind of sticks everything together, so…
FOURTH: Yes.
THIRD: And then you start to knead and you knead and knead, oh, wait, water, we’ve forgotten water, hah, without water we’d…
FOURTH: Water…
THIRD: Anyway, when we’ve added water, we knead and knead and knead and on and on…
FOURTH: Keep kneading…
THIRD: Yes, keep kneading…
FOURTH: Hah, kneading hard…
THIRD: Well, you know, unless the dough isn’t kneaded properly, it’ll be kind of… shitty. I mean literally.
END OF SAMPLE TEXT
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