SYNOPSIS: Mini-comedy about the ideal marriage. Johnny and Jenny are still in love after many years of living together. Johnny looks forward to seeing Jenny every day after work. Jenny looks forward to seeing Johnny and, every day, to show him just how much she loves him, she prepares a tasty meal for him. This ideal stereotype is disrupted when Johnny, an accountant, decides to bring home his unfinished work. He is so overwhelmed by numbers that he rejects his wife’s attention, even refusing Jenny’s tasty food. Jenny is relentless and intrusive and the situation gets out of hand. When Johnny explodes the second time and starts yelling at Jenny, she appears with her suitcase, ready to leave. Crying and reproaching ensues. Joey, the couple’s son, becomes an active instrument in their conflict: “Joey, tell your father …”, etc. All Joey wants is to play with his mobile and to test his new app, first on his father, then on his mother. Under the influence of Joey’s phone, love and tenderness flow in the family again. But when Joey leaves, taking his phone with him, the conflict breaks out all over again. The problem had only been solved for a moment.
NUMBER OF PAGES: 4
CAST: a man, a woman, a boy
GENRE: comedy
CHARACTERS:
JOHNNY
JENNY – his wife
JOEY – their son
SAMPLE TEXT
(Lights off, from backstage.)
JOHNNY: Jenny!
JENNY: Johnny!
JOHNNY: Jenny!
JENNY: Johnny!
(Lights on, from backstage.)
JOHNNY: JENNY!
JENNY: JOHNNY!
(They walk onstage at the same moment. Johnny from the left, Jenny from the right. Johnny has a briefcase in his hand. Jenny is wearing an apron and has a ladle in her hand. A moment of silence.)
JOHNNY: Sweet Jenny!
JENNY: Dear Johnny! You’re finally here!
JOHNNY: Finally!
JENNY: You’re home from work!
JOHNNY: So I am.
JENNY: You’re home!
JOHNNY: At home, with you.
JENNY: With me, finally. Sweet Johnny!
JOHNNY: Dear Jenny! (They hug each other.) Even though I’m home from work, I still have some stuff to do. I didn’t get enough time. (Walks to the table and takes out some paperwork and a notebook from his briefcase. He sits down.) I have to finish it tonight. Send it to the boss, he’ll be waiting for it. Put the numbers into the comp. It’s all just stats, but it’s serious stuff.
JENNY: Aren’t you hungry?
JOHNNY: No, thanks. Grabbed a sandwich on the way.
JENNY: I’ve made dinner.
JOHNNY: I really, really, really don’t have time now, Jen. Almost no time left.
JENNY: Foie gras with cranberry sauce, you’ll love it, Johnny.
JOHNNY: No, honestly, hun, I’m not hungry, I had the sandwich.
JENNY: What kind of sandwich?
JOHNNY: No idea. What do they put in sandwiches these days? Ham, egg and, cheese. Income was 47,514.23 minus taxable items, zero deficit, lovely… Invoices after expiration date… Jenny, sweetheart, do you need anything?
JENNY: No, nothing, I just want to keep you company. Just pretend I’m not here.
JOHNNY: Whatever you say, Jen. But can you just move left a bit? Your shadow’s making it hard to read these small numbers.
JENNY: Of course, Johnny.
JOHNNY: Thanks, Jenny.
JENNY: Is this better?
JOHNNY: Much better, Jenny, much better.
JENNY: Invoices in the November after taxation … VAT nineteen per cent… That comes to 78,235.47 plus interests, that’s… But if you have something really important to do, you can go, no need to stay here.
JENNY: I’m fine right here where I am.
JOHNNY: Fine then, if you’re fine. Overdrawn limits, six per cent loss, invoices…
JENNY: Loss double “s”.
JOHNNY: What’s that?
JENNY: You misspelled loss, it’s double “s”. You should change it.
JOHNNY: What? 28,654.32, what “s”, what d’you mean? Now I’ve lost track completely, have to start from the beginning. Jenny, can’t you just go to the kitchen and let me get on with it?
JENNY: I wanted to help you. Loss, double “s”, anyway…
JOHNNY: I don’t give a shit about your double “s”, just get out! (Jenny leaves.) Right, just as I thought, 26 pounds missing. So, once more. Balance investments in October and November 143,275.13, 34 per cent rise… Jenny, Jennifer! (He leaves his chair, goes to the door.) Jenny, don’t be silly! (She returns to the stage.) I’m sorry, Jen, I overreacted. You know how important this is, I don’t want to make a mistake. Just numbers, numbers and numbers. (He pokes her with his finger.)
JENNY: No need to swear at me, though, is there?
JOHNNY: Swear? “Shit” is not swearing.
JENNY: Is.
JOHNNY: Fine, it slipped out. I’m going back to work.
JENNY: Fine.
(Johnny returns to his desk, Jenny leaves and comes back with a plate.)
JENNY: Here’s the dinner.
JOHNNY: Jenny, I’ve already told you I’m not…
JENNY: Just try at least.
JOHNNY: Fine, I’ll try.
JENNY: One more. Big mouthful. What d’you think?
JOHNNY: Hmm, it’s nice. Thank you. Twelve per cent loss, plus costs in November, 3,145.23.
JENNY: So, d’you like it?
JOHNNY: What? Minus 3,526.38…
JENNY: Do you like it?
JOHNNY: Average daily turnover 4,237.45…
JENNY: One more bite, Johnny, and tell me if it’s any good.
JOHNNY: What? Good? Bloody hell, Jenny! You’ve screwed me up again! Take it away before I completely lose it! I’m missing 13 pounds. (Jenny takes the plate and leaves crying.) There we go, 13.26. Right. Let’s just double check All good. As they say, where there is a will..Jenny! Jenny, dear, where are you?
JENNY: (Walks in, with a suitcase.) Bye, Johnny.
END OF SAMPLE TEXT
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