SYNOPSIS: Minidrama. The Duet depicts the crisis of a married couple. In this relationship, there is no sharing, no sincere conversations, no mutual laughter or happiness. Emptiness alone remains. The couple doesn‘t even argue anymore. They live together because that‘s what they‘re used to. The wife confesses to all of the things she hates about her husband. She feels frustrated and longs for a baby but her longing is never fulfilled. The husband‘s life revolves around his career. Their situation seems to be irreversible. Nonetheless, change does come and it is truly a radical one. The husband loses his job and suffers a nervous breakdown. After his stay in the hospital, he becomes a different person. The couple start building their relationship afresh having discovered new values in life.
NUMBER OF PAGES: 6
CAST: man, woman
GENRE: drama
CHARACTERS:
HE
SHE
SAMPLE TEXT
SHE: I hate it when you come late home from work. You disgust me when you turn over to my side of the bed and I hear your heavy breathing. I hate your hairy shoulders. I hate your cackling and your loud laughter when it fills the apartment. This empty apartment, I hate it too. I hate the bare nursery. I hate your absent stare at breakfast. I hate the sounds you make when you chew your food. I hate having sex with you every Sunday afternoon. I just hate so many things. I’m sick of you, I’m sick of your apartment, I’m sick of everything. Your job, your friends, your parents, your whole stupid family. Your business trips, your vacations, your money, your smile, your voice, your kisses and hugs. I hate it all so much. Oh, I just hate it. And I hate myself. I despise myself for still living with you. For not having found the courage to confess how much I hate you. But you’ll hear about it all soon. Oh yes, you’ll hear about it. Just wait. And then, I’ll leave you for good. Bye bye, honey…
HE: Let’s celebrate, my dear. Another step up the ladder of success. Two more steps and I’m the top man. A month or two and I’ll be the local branch chief executive. D’you hear me? D’you get that? Me … the boss.
SHE: Oh, my Lord. I am shaken to my very core. Don’t shit your pants, Mr. Boss. You think you’re suddenly going to become a different person, that it’ll make you smarter or better? No, you’ll still be the same old clown, licking the ass of those above you and crushing those underneath. The same old bastard you’ve always been.
HE: Head of the branch, the boss, the big cheese….Just wait and see, Miller, Green, Collins and the rest, you’re all out like dirty laundry. Ha! Up till now, you’ve been playing with me as if I were a toy but it’s going to be different from now on. Someone’s going to get their asses kicked, and it won’t be me, boys. The golden boys, the dirty wimps! Everything’s going to change, my time has come. It’s my turn. Let’s go to bed! Come on, hurry up, I want you so bad, oh, I can’t help myself, come on, take it off.
SHE: What time is it? If it’s six, forget it. We’re supposed to be meeting the Nelsons. They’ve invited us over, didn’t I tell you? Which Nelsons? How many Nelsons do we know, you idiot? Ruby Nelson and Jake, her husband. We were with them in Greece last year, don’t you remember? Come on, get dressed, or we’ll be late. Honestly, how bad is your memory? The Nelsons from Greece. Even a retard would remember that.
HE My wife is a whore! And yes, I want everybody to hear that! A slut! And leave me alone, please! I’m the owner of this room, of this flat, of this living room, the only owner of the window at which I am standing right now. And I can shout whatever I want at whoever I want. I hope everyone in this building hears it. How do I know?From Nelson, of course. That man-whore told me all about your Greek adventures. That time when I was having dinner with his wife and you both came to join us. Do you remember the hotel restaurant with the big terrace? We were sitting there on that terrace. I should’ve realized the situation the moment I saw your glittering eyes. Of course I didn’t remember the Nelsons. I can’t be expected to remember every Tom, Dick and Harry my wife sleeps with. And he got drunk last night and spilled the beans while he was throwing up in the toilet. He wanted to hurt me, to take his revenge on me, you know, but I’m not jealous like him. He seems to be obsessed with the idea that everyone screws his wife. So, I’m on the list of his wife’s potential bedmates. Yeah, no, she’s quite pretty, I’ll give her that, but it’s not my type. At all. I’m not into those wimpy blondes with scared little faces. Ha, I’d have to be completely drunk to try something there, to make a move on her, which I told Nelson and he went mad and told me all about you two. But I’m not a jealous man, I’m really not. My wife gets around, this one, that one, next, next, fucking tramp…
SHE: Why do you have to look like you just landed from Mars? Guess it’s still one of your better days, anyway. Sitting here opposite me like a lump. As if I wasn’t here. I don’t even exist to you, do I? You’re probably more interested in the white wall and the calendar hanging behind me. Yep, have a good look at that calendar. April 12th today. Esther’s name day. Nice name, Esther. Do you know any Esthers? Would you like to screw an Esther? Look at her, walking up to you in your mind’s eye. She’s slim and pretty with curly black hair and a sweet smile. Just Esther. Looking up at you through her lashes, smiling at you. She’s coming closer, almost there, you can touch her, feel her, the wind softly playing with her hair … And all of a sudden she isn’t even the object of your sexual fantasy anymore – well done on that – and you’re just enjoying her beauty. She’s exhilarating. But she’ll never be yours and you know it. But that doesn’t bother you. Now you’re dipping your bun in the Milo which I’d put in front of you, opening your big mouth and placing the soaked bun in. You close your mouth and mix the soggy mass with your teeth and tongue. At that moment, Esther is gone. The only thing that remains is a light scent of clean linen. Esther, where have you gone, why did you leave me?
HE: The first one to go? Miller, obviously. He’s been getting on my nerves for some time. He‘s an old bootstrap and a big bastard. Every time he comes to the office, he just keep talking about the birds he screwed at the weekend.. I’m pretty sure he makes it all up but still, it’s so annoying. I’ve had enough of his sick orgies. I’ll kick him out and that‘ll be it, or move him down, show him his place. And Green is no better. He knows how to suck up, pretends to be a good boy and an honest friend, but he’s a wolf in a sheep’s coat. And the third one is Collins. Now, Collins is a wimp. Not insidious, but dangerous. At a critical moment, he jumps into the lifeboat alone and sails away. He’s a coward and that’s why he needs to be left behind. So there we are. Our Three Kings. Miller, Green, and Collins. Adios hombres. Au revoir. Ah, I feel better already. How about a quick bang before we leave? We still have few minutes, don‘t we? Breakfast was excellent. Just a quickie, huh? The buns were at least two days old. Next time get fresh ones, damn it!
SHE: What do I think of when we sleep together? Turtles. It would be really interesting to see turtles making love. But why turtles? Perhaps because of the shell. Which is quite primitive symbolism. Although it wasn’t always that way. There were times you were gentle, playful, you had imagination and charm. There was love in your words. Where did it all vanish? Far away. Everything flushed down the toilet and the only thing left is the stench. Pleasure replaced by disgrace. Love by ignorance. Playfulness by boredom. I wanted a baby, you didn’t. Then you did, and I couldn’t have one. Everything started falling apart. If I could, at least, hate you. I loved you at the start. But I don’t want to be your wife any more. I want to be a turtle. I want to sleep. I want to sleep through the whole winter. I want to make love like a turtle.
END OF SAMPLE TEXT
BUY THIS TEXT: here
Photo by Denny Müller on Unsplash